What is love?

World’s love

• Conditional – convenient love
• Focuses on feelings and emotions
• Asks, “What can I get out of this?” “How will this make me happy?”
• Asks, “Am I better off because of this relationship?”
• If needs and wants aren’t met, QUIT and look for someone “better”
• Searches for the “right” person
• Service = slavery – doesn’t want the relationship to cost anything
• Looks for the failures in the other person and dwells on that
• Has expectations that cannot be met by any human
• Repeats shortcomings and gossips about them to others
• Never considers your own flaws, and always points a finger – lacks grace
• The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side of the fence
• Expects the relationship to be 50/50. If the other person doesn’t give, you don’t either

God’s love

• Unconditional – sacrificial love
• Focuses on the truth – chooses to love
• Asks, “What can I do for this person?” “How can I make them happy?”
• Asks, “Is the other person better off because I am in their life?”
• If needs and wants aren’t met, PRAY and work through it – no matter what
• Waits for God to bring the “right” person
• Service = joy and contentment – realizes that a good relationship is worth everything
• Looks for the good in the other person and dwells on that
• Keeps expectations reasonable, remembering only God can fulfill all things and be all things
• Covers flaws and presents the other person in a positive light to others
• Is willing to give grace, because you are a sinner too
• You realize that the water bill is higher on the other side of the fence
• Puts 100% into the relationship, no matter what the other person gives

1 Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Original material by Holly M. Besser, ©2013. May not be used or re-printed without permission. bp52p02-13-14


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