I have had an unexplainable, severe spinal disease since February of 2002. I have had nearly non-stop pain throughout my body since that time. I spent 5 months freeing myself of narcotics and other pain killers that I relied on for 9 years of my life. I have had a thyroid condition since I was 11 years old, which has always caused me problems. I had thyroid cancer at 33 years old, and had my thyroid gland removed. I spent about 3 months dealing with radiation and recovery. I desired a child for 7 years, after I was married, before God saw fit to bless me with my first son in early 2008. The next five years would include six more pregnancies – four resulting in loss. After each loss, I spent about 4 – 6 months recovering and regrouping in order to try again. Currently, I am in survival mode with my seventh pregnancy. I am in so much pain most days that I can barely see through my tears, as I beg God for help taking just one more step.
If there is one main thing that I have learned over these many difficult years, it is the following:
Another person can only handle your troubles for a short period.
Even the closest of friends and the strongest of families can only share your burden for a limited amount of time. It’s not that they don’t care. It’s not that they don’t want to help. It’s just a matter of fact. Everyone has their own burdens to bear, and no one can possibly walk away from their own life permanently – no matter how much empathy they may have –take on our pain, and see it through from beginning to end.
Many times, we see people come and go into our heartbroken lives and wonder why they “give up” or “forget about us.” When, if we were totally honest, we would look back and see how we had done the very same thing to others. It’s not usually intentional. It’s just reality. (Yes, sometimes, it is intentional. In those cases, we need to practice grace and forgiveness. We must be thick-skinned sometimes, especially when we know that those individuals cannot possibly understand what we are going through.) See https://perfectjoyministries.wordpress.com/2013/03/07/when-people-arent-god-is/
I’ve “lost” many friends over the years. People just fade in and out of our lives. God puts people into our lives, many times, just for a certain season of it. Instead of grieving the loss of a friend, I try to be thankful for the fact they were there, when I needed them most. My health has stopped me from attending groups such as MOPS, Bible study, and sometimes, even weekly church services. Just the changes in my schedule have removed many wonderful women from my life. Yes, it’s usually painful when it happens. Yes, you even feel some guilt for not being able to maintain those friendships. However, I’m learning that God puts us where He wants us. He removes us from the things that He wants us to surrender and sacrifice back to Him. He even uses these things to change the course of our lives and position us into service somewhere we may have never gone on our own accord.
In the midst of this regrettable truth, we must remember that God takes every tear into account…
You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? Psalm 56:8
What people can never do, God does in absolute inclusiveness. He doesn’t miss a moment, not a tear…not even one. Not even a hair falls from your head that He doesn’t notice…
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31
God will never leave you or forsake you – not even for a second…
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8
He is with you always…
And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. Matthew 28:20b
Don’t lose hope. Even in the darkest of days, in the loneliest of times, and in the moments of greatest isolation, God is there. He knows what He is doing, even when all seems lost. People come and go. Don’t be angry they leave. Be thankful they came. Then, turn your eyes to heaven and trust your care to the Keeper of the stars.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure. Psalm 147:3-5
“Whom Shall I fear” (God of Angel Armies) – Chris Tomlin http://youtu.be/3vBDKtzzrR4
“Help Me Find It” – Sidewalk Prophets http://youtu.be/GIpIHfZ88PM
Original material by Holly M. Besser, ©2013. May not be used or re-printed without permission. bp41p07-07-13