Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7
As mothers of “heavenly children,” we will never look at a pregnancy test the same again. We will never wait around for the three minutes, with nothing but hopeful anticipation. We will never feel a simple “bummer!” when the second line doesn’t appear. We will never walk back to the same test for the 8th time, “just in case,” and be nothing but ecstatic, when that line magically materializes. Those two tiny pink lines on the little plastic stick mean so much more now. They elicit loads of emotions, no matter what the results happen to be.
1. The three minute wait.
Uncertainty. Do I want to see one line or two? One line keeps me in my current situation. It is comfortable in a weird sort of way. Two lines mean that my future feels out of my control again. What if I lose another baby? What if I have a healthy baby? What should I be feelings? I want to be happy, but I belong to a group of women that all want to see two lines, so maybe I should feel guilty?
Fear. Ditto above.
Excitement. What if? I want a baby so bad!
2. The single line result.
Really???? Don’t we deserve a baby yet? That family has six, and they don’t even seem to appreciate them. God, it’s not fair!
Maybe it’s for the best. I’m not sure that I’m ready to go through the roller-coaster of another pregnancy again.
Maybe it’s just too early. …I’ll test again in the morning, just in case.
3. The double line result.
Finally!! Yay, gotta go call everyone right now! Wait…maybe we shouldn’t tell anyone, until we are sure that this is going to really happen. Should we tell them? They just lost a pregnancy last month. Should we avoid being happy about this for a while, just so we don’t hurt anyone’s feeling? We’ve waited so long for this though. Don’t we deserve to be happy? On the other hand, maybe we should build a wall around our hearts. We should protect ourselves in case we lose this one too. Fear…lot’s of fear. Guilt and more uncertainty. Why can’t this be easy?
Let’s explore the truths that can set us free from the danger of getting sucked into and destroyed by these emotions.
1. We have zero control over the test results.
No matter how hard you work at getting pregnant, or even at not getting pregnant, God can supersede anything we do. If we take Nyquil by accident, He can protect our unborn child. If we choose to use birth control methods, He can over-ride those. If we choose to allow fear to control us, we are putting God into a very small box. We must believe that He truly is all-powerful, and that He will accomplish His will in our lives.
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9
I know, O LORD, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps. Jeremiah 10:23
For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. 1 Corinthians 1:25
2. God has complete control.
We must trust that even the results of a pregnancy test declare His will and way in our lives. Ultimately, more than we desire a certain result on a pregnancy test, we need to arrive at a place where wanting His will, and reaffirming that as we hold that stick in our hands, is bigger than the results that are appearing.
The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand. Psalm 37:23-24
3. We must give our concerns to God.
We must believe that He truly cares about the details, even when we are not sure how to pray.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26
When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul. Psalm 94:19
4. We must not allow one or two pink lines to dictate our emotions.
Our identity should not be found in our emotions. This is a very difficult truth to remember, much less live by. How often have our feelings ridden the roller coaster of what the test results show. But this is not only exhausting, it is not a God glorifying way to live. It means that we are allowing circumstances to dictate how we feel — and therefore, often how we act — instead of the faithfulness and constancy of God being our emotional stability.
This is not to say we should not “let” sadness or tears come. That is often an automatic reaction, and it’s not a sin to experience them. God created us with emotion for a reason. It becomes sin when we allow it to become our driving force in life, influencing everything from keeping us from being faithful to our daily responsibilities to how we treat our spouse. It also becomes sin when we cling to the sad or negative emotions as our identity, refusing to let go of them and in so doing, deny the work of God in our life as well as destroy the testimony of His faithful grace in heart break. We fail to allow God to be glorified.
Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.” Psalm 50:15
Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. 1 Peter 4:16
He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD. Psalm 112:7
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. Psalm 42:11
5. We must allow our weakness to show God’s strength.
Surrender does not mean lack of brokenness or tears. It is often done with broken tears. Some believe that surrender means a denial of the feelings that come with disappointment and heart break, but that is not the case. Rather, surrender is an honest proclamation of how much it hurts, how broken our heart is, but then a declaration of God’s sufficient grace in that brokenness.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
6. Seize NOW.
We must do the next right thing, and not live in the past or the future. It is a gift from God, and we should not waste it. We only get to live this moment once.
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12
But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13b-14
No matter how many lines you see on that test next month, Jesus is the same. He never changes. What comfort and what peace can be found in that truth.
Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. Hebrews 13:8(kjv)
Original material by Melissa J Carswell, MA, BCCC. Holly M Besser. Perfect Joy Ministries ©2012. May not be used or re-printed without permission. bsbp22p01-24-13